WINSTON WILDE



Sex therapy is caring for the sexual health and erotic well being of another
by a qualified provider, through the use of talk and communication. Sex therapy often includes sexual homework assignments for the client to do later in the privacy of their own home.

I am certified by AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists) as a Sex Therapist, a Sex Educator and as a Supervisor for sex therapy interns. There is no state licensing in California of sex therapists. Anyone can claim that they are a sex therapist, but only AASECT certifies appropriate candidates who have undertaken proper training. Consumer beware. There are well-meaning therapists who just don't know jack. If they can't tell you what the PLISSIT model is, a SAR, or sensate focus, then I would recommend moving on. There are some licensed psychotherapists who are not AASECT certified, but still do a first rate job of sex therapy.

Sexology, like sexuality, is complex and multidimensional. Sexological research indicates that are many differing ways in which Americans approach sex, talk about sex, behave sexually, and conceive of sexuality. African Americans often reach menarche (first menstruation) and experience coital debut (first partnered sex) at earlier ages than Asian Americans. Most wives think looking at porn is cheating, and most husbands don't think it's cheating. The citizens of Utah consume more porn per capita than any other state. The work of sex therapy is complex, and must be inclusive in its awareness of the interplay between medicine, biology and physiology, psychology, culture, environment, and individual interpersonal relationship dynamics.

Sex therapy is sometimes performed as an adjunct to psychotherapy. In these cases, it will be to your advantage for me to consult with your primary psychotherapist.
It might be therapeutically advantageous for you to bring into session a significant sex partner to be a part of the treatment. Depending on your situation, I may suggest that you be treated by (and/or I consult with your existing) psychiatrist, physician, urologist, gynecologist, surrogate partner or sacred intimate, or persons of faith.

Delos

On the sacred Greek island of Delos,
birthplace of the twin queer gods Artemis and Apollo
Photo: Otis Charles, 2006

There is no guarantee that sex therapy will solve your problems. Sometimes fantasies are better left fantasies, and sometimes sex problems are better left unresolved. Or maybe thought of in a more positive frame. Sometimes there simply is no cure, no treatment known that works. I will let you know all that I know.

Body function problems

erectile disorder
rapid ejaculation
delayed orgasm
genital pain (dyspareunia)
genital spasm (vaginismus)
incontinence

Desire Issues

loss of desire
unwanted desires
too much desire

Behavioral struggles

impulse control
masturbation habits
performance anxiety
attraction to danger
unwanted attraction(s)
fear of incompetence
distraction during sex
compulsive sexual behavior
illegal attractions
dangerous attractions

Relational concerns

infidelity
negotiating non-monogamy
managing jealousy
love/lust split
troublesome turn-on's
attachment style conflicts
protocol concerns

SEX THERAPY

Cognitive Behavioral methods of psychotherapy sometimes work for some sexuality issues, such as rapid ejaculation and vaginismus. These body function concerns usually take only a few months of treatment, and have a high success rate.